The United States of America gets closer to Bizzarro America every waking day. It’s getting harder to keep up. Last month I read about a new trend in Montana, Nekkid Yoga. What is happening to us?
Clementine Lindley, owner of Limber Tree Yoga and Wellness in Billings, Montana, was quoted recently, “Ultimately we’re a yoga studio that’s focused on wellness not only fitness.” So she started a clothing optional offshoot called Bare Roots Yoga, to boost body confidence, build community, and release trauma from the body. And I thought just pulling on a pair of yoga pants has been doing that for years.
I spent one night in Billings with two of my children while we toured this Great Country of ours in 2017. It did seem more progressive than I envisioned a midsized Montana municipality to be. We enjoyed a short walk into a vibrant downtown area and dined in a trendy brew pub. The food and drinks were both surprisingly good.
The crowd was modern and jovial—didn’t see anyone sporting a Big Iron on their hip or wearing chaps or spurs. I did see a couple of millennials though. My first time actually seeing such creatures in their natural habitat. I’m pretty sure they were both males and were dressed in traditional costumes for their species. Little did I know how close I came to destroying my children’s lives by unintentionally exposing them to naked, flexible cowpersons.
Billings seems to have changed since then, maybe better, maybe worse. I’ve heard rumors about them getting a little too Woke for their own good. Two of their most popular current tourist sites are the Berkeley Pit and the Garden of One Thousand Buddhas. They even ban AR-15s on state capitol grounds.
The Berkeley Pit is a big toxic pond filled with waste from a former mining site. Now it’s trying to be inclusive. A toxic waste site can be either a rallying point to capitalism or a sign of damage to the planet. Anyone on the fence can hate this place because it’s named Berkeley.
In the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, nothing can be scarier than the presence of a religion not associated with the founding of America. I know the First Amendment offers religious freedom but a thousand Buddhas sounds like too many. And really scary for those who don’t understand Buddhism. Wonder if they are nekkid?
Based on current news, especially Fox News, there’s a lot to be afraid of in America these days but anything naked has always been alarming for us. I think it goes back to our Puritan DNA. I’ve never thought naked people cause trouble just by being naked. But I firmly believe some people should stay properly clothed no matter what. And we’ve seen that rule violated many times with yoga pants. I can’t imagine those same people nekkid—or naked for that matter.
Great American Lewis Grizzard explained the difference between the two decades ago. Naked means not having clothes on. Nekkid means not having clothes on and “up to something.”
Seems simple. But nothing in America is simple anymore.
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