Columbia Star

1963        Celebrating 60 Years      2023

They’re coming for us

It’s not a criticism; It’s an observation



I saw two dead skunks in the middle of the road last week. One of them did in fact stink to high heaven. I’ve witnessed skunks in almost every region I’ve lived in and throughout every decade until the new century arrived. These two are my first since then.

Many decades ago my brother and I and a friend called Philip encountered a skunk ambling across a cow pasture and like most ten-year-olds, we decided to irritate it. I, being older and wiser, kept my distance. Philip and Rick suffered direct hits. Later that same year, another skunk, perhaps a revenge minded relative, entered our home and hid under the kitchen pantry.

In this case, my mother was the eventual, if not primary, target. In both those cases, all family members suffered for several weeks. My father and I visited the old home place 20 years later on a cold, misty day and could still smell the skunk’s offering.

Seeing the more recent skunks after so many years makes me wonder about animals in general and smart ones in particular. I’ve long stated to anyone willing to listen that I think squirrels, if they ever overcome their unwillingness to congregate in large numbers, could wrest control of the planet from humans, obliterate us, and start anew.

I’m positive they are much smarter than us but need to work on group cohesion. My son, Chad, thinks circumstances might be scarier. He’s convinced all animals are sick of human greed, selfishness, stupidity, and utter contempt for the earth, and are working toward eradicating all two-legged creatures as soon as possible. I laughed off his beliefs for a time, considering such ramblings the result of poor lineage coupled with exposure to less than stellar parenting skills. Then killer whales started ramming boats.

If you haven’t seen this, you can look it up. Not on some idiotic post from that crazy uncle who thinks someone with George Soros type money is stupid enough to want to control the human population. Think about it. If you had enough money to do, experience, or buy anything possible, and running out of a bank balance was impossible, would you try to control people not smart enough to know when they’re being lied to? Me neither.

The Associated Press News Agency, among others, has mentioned several incidents where orcas have attacked small sailing ships in what appeared to be coordinated efforts. If whales in the sea are doing such stuff, one has to wonder about all those so-called isolated incidents where squirrels, deer, turtles, and yes, skunks are darting in front of vehicles. Is it a stupid mammal with no place left to roam, trying to adjust to a new environment? Or maybe it is a training exercise.

George Carlin once stated earth wasn’t worried about humans. When the need arose, the planet would shake humans off its premises “like a dog shakes away fleas.”

Maybe this is a variation of that action. Maybe it happened before. Just because there’s no evidence of earlier civilizations doesn’t mean people weren’t here. We know what pigs can do to human remains.

Imagine a squirrel/orca hybrid.

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