Columbia Star

1963        Celebrating 60 Years      2023

Roach Anxiety

Part 3: Cooties



Bully Bobby called Beautiful Regina cootie head!

Bully Bobby called Beautiful Regina cootie head!

I eventually became brave enough to walk with Beautiful Regina to lunch. I was so proud until…..Bully Bobby knocked me against the wall and snarled, “That girl is a cootie head!” Having never heard of cooties, I looked in the encyclopedia and found:

Cooties are bloodsuckers (aka lice, gray backs, seam squirrels) that live in blankets and clothes. Head lice are insects that crawl around in human hair to get nourishment. These parasites live on clothing, hairbrushes, hats, towels, and any other personal belongings. They breed and lay eggs “nits” on pubic hairs. If not gotten rid of them, they will cause sores and boils. The cure is to take a very hot soap bath, sterilize all clothes, and treat pubic area, arm pits, and hair with prophylactic salve.

I was shocked. Regina, a cootie head! What a vile thing to say about the most beautiful girl in Schneider School! I could not let him get away with that!

But what to do? Bully Bobby was so big and so mean.

Bully Bobby returned to the school grounds with bottles of TIPS, drank them, and got “drunk.”

Bully Bobby returned to the school grounds with bottles of TIPS, drank them, and got “drunk.”

Bully Bobby soon committed an illegal and unpardonable act. During recess, one morning Bobby shoplifted a pocketful of little bottles of Tips that were known to contain alcohol. Bobby returned to the school grounds, drank the evil Breath Freshener, got “drunk,” and began to accost Beautiful Regina who let out a scream.

Bully Bobby had made a terrible mistake! I called Kelly and Gene, and we rushed to protect Beautiful Regina. The yard teacher joined us, confronted Bully Bobby, smelled the alcohol on his breath, and called the District Office. Before the dismissal bell that day, Bobby was handcuffed, stuffed into a police car, and never seen again. We heard that Bobby was sent to Reform School and eventually spent time in prison.

Unfortunately, we also lost our Beautiful Regina. Her father was promoted within the U.S. Postal Service and, within a few months, she moved to Washington, D.C with her parents. The Beautiful Regina became The Legendary Gina.

Cooties (lice) are notorious for infecting clothing and hair of elementary students then sucking blood and causing sores.

Cooties (lice) are notorious for infecting clothing and hair of elementary students then sucking blood and causing sores.

Our class left Schneider Elementary School and moved on to Hand Junior High School for two years before becoming Dreher Blue Devils.

(Continued next week)


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