Columbia Star

Ralph Nader is back

It’s not a criticism; It’s an observation



 

 

If it wasn’t for Ralph Nader, you wouldn’t be reading these words right now. In case you forgot or were born in this century, let me explain. Ralph Nader was the first consumer advocate. At least the first one I remember.

Nader was by trade a lawyer but better known as a political activist, focusing on consumer safety. His book, Unsafe at Any Speed, was published in the mid ’60s and led to major safety regulations against the auto industry and millions of explosive jokes about Ford’s Pinto.

Nader, 91 as I write this, ran for president five times. He was responsible for countless safety rules protecting consumers and accredited with making America much safer. He started a trend in the early ’70s that still can be seen today by placing warnings on products to inform people about doing dangerous things. This is where he and I crossed paths.

As we neared the end of the 20th century and I began a fledgling career writing inane opinion pieces offering my thoughts on many subjects, it dawned on me that my beloved country was getting dumber. After a long weekend involving Boone’s Farm, a rerun of Woodstock, and Dreamland ribs, I decided Ralph Nader was responsible.

My idea was simple— natural selection, long a part of the human life cycle, had been altered by Nader’s crusade to make people safer. He had inadvertently saved the lives of countless morons who would have bought Pintos and Corvairs, smoked cigarettes, sniffed lead paint, and consumed hot dogs. These folks would now be able to find like-minded people to marry and reproduce with. Thus, an increase in stupid people.

This position was obviously satirical and intended solely for the entertainment of people choosing to read my work. I published it on a website that paid one cent per internet hit and was chastised for suggesting we kill stupid people. I never did get my penny.

But Mimi Maddock interpreted that same article as evidence of my hilarity and for some reason decided to offer me a job at The Columbia Star. I’m still here, perusing the internet and writing away. That’s where I saw a particular story recently that gave me hope.

A USA news article told of a 60-year-old man who wanted to eliminate salt from his diet and asked ChatGPT for an alternative. The latest online craze suggested sodium bromide, a cleaning compound historically used in pharmaceuticals and manufacturing.

The man swapped salt for sodium bromide for three months. He ended up in the hospital emergency room with paranoid delusions, despite having no history of mental health problems. He was terrified by any doctor offering science-based advice. Now think of all the influencers, TikTokers, and life coaches telling people stupid stuff they accept as factual. This sounds dire but consider the possible outcome.

If social media can talk us into risky behavior, it could undo all of Ralph Nader’s good work, which means returning to a pre-Nader world. Natural selection can rebalance our intelligence and reverse this stupidity parade. We all knew the internet was making us dumber.

Who knew it might also be our salvation?

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