Holiday mailings have always presented a challenge for me. All those deadlines and oh the pressure they put on people for gift giving!
I went out the first week of December and all the stores had places stocked high with “all those last minute gifts!”
It was December 3.
And it’s not just the stores. The talk shows all start about mid-November with the “holiday preparations,” and even before that, all the shops and stores are doing their “Christmas in July” promotions—in JULY!
When my parents were still with me and I lived out in California, we sent boxes to each other every Christmas. For too many years in a row, on December 23 at about 2 in the afternoon you would find me in my favorite mailbox store run by two ladies I ended up becoming drinking buddies with. I was there annually, on their floor behind the counter frantically wrapping my gifts to send home before the UPS/FedX/USPO mail carrier arrived for pickup. On one occasion, one of the ladies even stalled the pickup man so I could get two more packages wrapped and stuffed in the box. That was the first night I took them out drinking in gratitude for their patience and assistance. Of course now when I look back, what I paid to get that box all the way to S.C. from Calif. would have bought them an addition to their homes but when one tends to procrastinate… one must pay the mailing prices.
You’d think I’d learn.
I finally got the mailing rhythm down and especially so when I moved back here and had a myriad of gifts to send back to my west coast buddies. Last minute mailing for one address was steep, but to do it for almost a dozen people was insane, so I memorized the mailing schedule and found one of those places where you simply take the bag of gifts in and they do everything for you. They box it, pack it, and you hand over your card to pay and walk out smiling.
But you pay for that. Recently, I had to send some paperwork for a friend out to California and it had to be there by a certain date. It was $65. SIXTY-FIVE dollars to mail PAPERWORK. I was astonished and frankly…a little miffed. I was mailing it early enough that it didn’t need to be overnighted or even need the two-day arrival. And did I mention it was PAAAAPEEERRRR!?!?
At any rate…in the midst of my resentment for the system I had used, I was informed by several people that I could use the U.S. Post Office for pennies on the dollar versus the price the delivery service charged.
“All you have to do is go pick up a box and fill it. They will mail it for a fraction of what you’ve been paying.” I heard this over and over until I decided to give it a whirl. I went into my local post office with my bags of goodies. One was going to Oregon and one was headed to Hawaii. I got up to the counter and the clerk handed me two unfolded boxes. She told me to step out of line to the table and “pack your gifts” then step back in line. She assured me I hadn’t lost my place in line, which was a good thing because that line was growing fast.
I went to the table and began to wrestle with the boxes. I have arthritis in my hands and sometimes when it acts up or “flares” as my doctor likes to call it, it’s extremely difficult to do some dexterous feats like unfold heavy cardboard boxes.
As I’m huffing and puffing and feeling like a circus sideshow act, I’m inwardly trying desperately to reason with inanimate cardboard while at least a dozen people in line look on. Finally…this one fellow in line takes pity on me and steps over to help. He quickly folded the box as it should be, and grabbed the packing tape thingie, got the box in tip top shape, and handed it to me. He never said a word. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or simply pragmatic and a well-seasoned box maker, but I was grateful! Soooo grateful.
But I still had another box to make. And he was next in line to mail his packages.
I was doomed.
I got my second box and began to fumble with it to get it to resemble the box the man had made for me. It didn’t work. As I held down the flaps, I struggled with the tape thingie and it gave me one shot of tape perfectly, but then it simply froze up on me.
There was no more tape coming out. I needed tape…this was the Hawaii box…I couldn’t just send an untaped box to Hawaii—or Oregon for that matter, and that box also needed more tape.
At times like this, my usual reaction would involve some dicey language and likely some beating of the tape thingie against the table but that approach wasn’t going to work in this situation. I assumed screaming, cussing, and beating things on tables in a federal building could turn into a really bad day so all I could do was to continue the struggle and pray for another good Samaritan to appear. After I got tape in my hair, managed to tape two fingers together, and then cut myself on the tape cutter’s serrated edge, a young woman stepped out of line to help me get the tape out of my hair. We both began to battle with the tape and we almost taped ourselves together, but we got it done.
Sort of. When the post office lady called me up again, she looked at my poor pathetic boxes and then at me. She smiled.
“You’ve never done this before have you?”
“No Ma’am, I haven’t,” I was panting and sweating by now.
“Don’t you worry, baby…I’ve got you.” She grabbed her own tape thingie and without missing a beat, she had both boxes so taped up it was going to take my friends forever to get into them, but I didn’t care. The boxes were done and on their way to their Christmas destinations! And BOTH boxes together cost less that $50!
I wanted to kiss that lady but again…probably not an appropriate reaction. As I walked out of the post office, I heard someone say “Lucy Ricardo was alive and well.” Even I had to laugh at that!
After some weekend shopping, I had two more packages to mail and I thought about going back to the post office in hopes that the same lady would be there again. Then I put them in my car and drove them to the mailbox place where they do everything for you. I handed the young lady there my bags and my credit card. She charged me $90 for the two packages going to Illinois and Vegas.
And it was worth every single penny not to EVER touch a tape thingie again! I think Lucy would be agree.
I’m just saying…
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