I’m so grateful I’m married to my fabulous husband, Marty! He’s the light of my life and the sparkle in my eyes and I love him to the moon and back. He’s my world and my safe harbor…and speaking of safe…another great perk of a happy marriage is I never have to date anyone ever again but Marty. And believe me…from my single friends’ stories, that’s HUGE! I simply can’t imagine being single at this time of my life and trying to maneuver the dating scene in today’s world—and on a computer…or iPhone…or iPad…or other things I don’t know the word for.
I don’t know how the people from my generation are doing it. They are obviously far more proficient with technology than I am. When I was dating, people met people the old fashioned way…in a bar, through mutual friends, at the gym, or in church… face to face.
These days you need a degree in computer programing to watch television much less go “online” and “scroll” a dating site. I just can’t wrap my head around sticking a photo or video of myself out in the world to see if anyone would like to go out with me. And you have to TALK about yourself on these sites. It’s truly the old “I like reading by the fire on a brisk autumn day and taking long walks on the beach…” pickup lines but with a new language. One of my oldest and dearest friends is a computer guy and when he started saying he would “ping” me I was initially shocked as I thought he was being wicked. I had to Google it before I knew it meant receiving a message on your computer or phone. It basically means texting.
And there you go! Text used to be words in books but now it’s a verb. We aren’t writing any more…we “text” and “ping” now. A stream used to be a body of water but now it too is a verb…and I’m still not really clear as to what it means when you’re “streaming,” but I think it has something to do with movies.
I do have a working knowledge of the movie channels or the “streaming” services…and by that I mean I understand I pay them a certain amount of money and I can watch their movies. But apparently you can only watch the movies on one television in the house…and I totally don’t understand that because I know friends who gave their password to their kids, who then gave it to five of their best buddies and my friends weren’t charged anything more. I can’t even make the TVs in the den and bedroom watch the same movie.
But according to my cable bill, I have quite the collection of “streaming” services. There are charges on there for things neither Marty or I knew about or remembered signing up for.
It’s probably that other family who lives in our house. Marty swears two people cannot possibly produce as much trash as we do and I would bet my last dollar somewhere on this property there’s a family of four who sneak their laundry in with our laundry. It’s preposterous one man and one woman can have that many dirty clothes that often. It’s not like we’re these super athletes who would have to change clothes five times a day after their workouts either. Both Marty and I are very big on maintaining our personal comfort, and when it’s triple digits outside, we choose to remain in our climate controlled home…not working out—probably having a little snack, too. And did I mention not working out?
And that’s such a magnificent thing…to be that comfortable with each other…you can talk if you want, but you can just sit together, too. He knows my likes and dislikes and I know his. We’ve been together so much we pretty much know each other’s thoughts while we’re thinking them. It takes time to build that sort of relationship…and you really need to be in the same room.
I had a friend once who was dating someone from another country. They had met, guess where? ONLINE! In something called a “chat room.” They actually dated for several years, but they were only physically in the same place twice…Twice…in three or four years.
The rest of the time, they “took” each other to events on their phones and computers. They “Facetimed.” I do know how to Facetime and do it often with Marty when I’m traveling, but I don’t think it’s an ideal relationship builder. The definite advantages of an online relationship are you only talk to each other when you look your best. Women in full makeup and hair blown out and the men with immaculate hair and either clean shaven or beards tidied…that would be a plus. Of course depending upon what you wanted out of the relationship, and how much effort you put into your appearance…it could get a little tricky, too.
Imagine the fella seeing the lady all gussied up with great hair and makeup. They hang up and then reality happens… our heroine goes to her bathroom and the dismantling begins. The dazzling blue-eyed blonde of mere minutes ago becomes the nearsighted, hazel eyed bookish type with dishwater hair. And I don’t even want to THINK about what all the man takes off.
In the old ways, the people could reveal themselves bit by bit. They spent TIME with each other and actually talked and discussed things…they got to KNOW each other. And they were young.
I know a woman who was having some dental work done and had to wear dentures between procedures. She chanced dating during this time, and when the relationship reached the “third date” seriousness, she decided to go for it. They got a hotel room in a nice place, had a fabulous dinner, and went back to the room for the evening. When she woke up the next morning, he was curled up with his back to her and just as she moved to touch his shoulder she saw something odd on his pillow… behind his head. It was her denture…out of her mouth and nestled near his ear. If he had awakened first it would have been quite the surprise for both of them.
Stories like this make me so glad I’m married to a man who has seen me at my worst and stayed. And it makes me so in awe of my friends my age who are out there dating still. I hope they all find what Marty and I have found…and if the need arises… I hope they find a really good dental adhesive cream that will last through the night!
I’m just saying…
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