2017-12-08 / Commentary

Homespun Holidays are just on TV

I’m just saying...
Julia Rogers Hook

Have you ever noticed that during any holiday, the “do-it-yourselfers” come out of the woodwork?

I find it daunting some people can find the time to do some of these things…especially at Christmas and Hanukkah!

I mean, we have all these long lists of things to do for the holidays; yet, every single morning and afternoon talk show always has some “Krafty Kate” who knows how to fashion a wreath out of used wine corks or a table top tree out of old toilet paper rolls!

And my question is WHY?

This morning, there was some woman who went out, bought a large tree shaped piece of Styrofoam and two dozen spoons and made a silver Christmas tree out of them! She literally cut the handles off just above the spoon part and then glued the spoons to the Styrofoam in a descending order to make a tree! And THEN…she used the handles to make a Star of David!

She tried to make it sound easy, but seriously! By the time you get out your handy blow torch, which I do not have, and your glue gun, again, not at my house, and take the time to cut and glue all those maimed spoons together, you could get in your car and run to a craft store and buy a nice tree that you just take out of the bag and pull the tag off and you’re DONE!

There was another show that featured using red pool noodles and taping them in a swirly pattern with white craft tape, then bending the top over in a cane shape, tying it with fishing line and voila! You have large candy canes to “greet your visitors at the door!”

Seriously?

First of all, there is absolutely NO WAY that that tape is going to go on as it’s supposed to. It will wrinkle, it will not stick as it should, and it will look like an unwilling boy-child in the first grade did it. I have my doubts about the longevity of those glued on spoons, too. Styrofoam isn’t the best adhesive anyway and with the weight of the spoons…I don’t think so!

There are pine cone wreaths that again, you have to glue on a round mold AFTER they’ve dried from when you’ve sprayed them gold or white or red or green or all of the above! There are apparently 101 ways to incorporate your empty TP and paper towel rolls into the niftiest of holiday décor! I’m sure if you looked hard enough online you could find a way to use almost all your trash as festive decorations.

Again…WHY?

I saw one program that showed the mom painstakingly help her kids and their friends make snowflakes out of printer paper by folding and cutting them. Then you tie the fishing wire to a paper clip that you’ve sprayed the holiday color of your choice and attach the clip to the paper and hang the snowflakes in the foyer of your home.

I think not.

And the cooking people? GOOD GRIEF! They are the most unbelievable. They can make Santas and reindeer and snowmen and whatever floats your holiday boat out of a lump of dough or sometimes a head of broccoli!

And they try to make it look sooooo easy! But they don’t fool me! I KNOW they have a STAFF!

If I had a staff, maybe I could make a Santa red velvet cake or reindeer out of chocolate chips too! If I had a bunch of people who pre-measured all of the ingredients and lined them up as they were called for in the recipe, I’d probably do more holiday projects myself.

But alas…I do not.

So at my house, your cookies will be from the bakery, your decorations will be from any number of available stores, and whatever “greets” you at the door will be a pre-ordered something from a catalogue!

But your welcome will be warm, and your visit will be merry and bright! And that will just have to be enough.

That homespun holiday stuff…that’s just on television!

I’m just saying…

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