2017-06-02 / Commentary

Pass on the passwords please

I’m just saying...
Julia Rogers Hook

Passwords.

I understand the need for passwords, really I do. But WHY is there a need for SO MANY?

They make me crazy!

I’ve had one password for as long as I’ve had a computer, and it’s never changed. It was absolutely fool proof, and it met all the obligatory demands from the cyber-gods in that it contained numbers, letters, and punctuation. And it was easy. When you deal with something for 20-plus years, you tend to remember it. And let’s face it…if you can’t remember a password…it. Is. USELESS!

Every single gadget on the market today requires a password for access. Your phone, your computer, your camera, your darned near everything! You need to remember passwords for every single account you have! You have a password for your water, your heating and air, your car, your insurance, your TELEVISION, for crying out loud!

All those nifty little things that allow you to watch movies and television programs from last week or entire seasons of a certain program? You need a password!

You want to read your handy, dandy new electronic book on your Kindle? Not without a password, bucko!

Like to pay your bills online to save time and money on a stamp? You’d best be able to recall every single password for every single account you have.

I once had a gym membership I had held for years…probably decades. Then they got all “technologically sound” and sent me a letter informing me I would now need to enter my password in order to pay my annual bill. This was a password I had installed at least ten years prior and had never used in all those years. I tried. Heaven knows I TRIED! I used every pet name I had ever owned; I used every flower I could think of…I used streets I lived on, colors I wore frequently… even old boyfriends! I TRIED! But nothing worked. I couldn’t gain access to the account, and there was nooooo phone number! No human being was waiting in the wings to help me…nope…not a one.

Finally…I took my check and went to the gym and told them I wanted to pay my dues for the year. They wouldn’t take my check. Told me I needed an “online account” so I could “pay directly.”

I was stunned. I looked at the girl who was smiling sweetly at me from behind the gym counter.

“But I’m standing RIGHT HERE! THIS IS PAYING YOU DIRECTLY!” I just knew she would eventually see the light!

But no. She told me the company had “gone paperless” and had no way to take my money other than through my online account.

“But I don’t HAVE an online account,” I tried to reason with her, but she was persistent. She wasn’t taking my money, and if I wanted to continue with my membership, I had to open or use my current online account.

And for that…I needed my password.

It was hopeless. I joined a new gym.

Now these days, all your different electronic gizmo’s are connected which you would think would make life easier, right?

Wrong. If, for some reason, you need to change your password on say, your iPhone, well then you’re going to need to change the password on all of the OTHER gizmos that are interrelated to your phone. So if your password is 1234, for instance—and NEVER use that combination… it’s candy to hackers— but for the sake of the story…if your password for your phone was 1234 and say you had to change it to…1324? Well then…your iPad, laptop, and anything else you have has to change too because the cyber gods will no longer recognize 1234. On ANYTHING.

So every account you have that is remotely attached to your phone will have to change. Get music online? A new password please. Want to buy something from an online company? Not without your password! Social media accounts? Better remember that password or you’ll never talk to your online friends again!

It’s MADDENING!

And the worst…the ABSOLUTE WORST are those word puzzles. They take a series of numbers and letters and put them in random order that is case sensitive and write them in a weird hieroglyphic and they ask you to copy them.

I have never in my life gotten one of those right. I have seen the “puzzle” says “puzzle14” and typed in “puzzle14” only to be told that I’m wrong. Because…you see…it really says “puZZle14” with the capital letters, but by the time I figure out the letter case matters, they have changed the stupid puzzle altogether!

I don’t do those anymore. It wasn’t healthy for my eternal soul. The words that came out of my mouth were going to send me to the hot place down below and I couldn’t risk that. So now…when I see the word puzzles…I simply disconnect and go do something else.

I’m not letting that little puzzle send me to eternal damnation. My destination is h-e-a-v-e-n, and if I play my cards right, that doesn’t require a password. Or a puzzle.

I’m just saying…

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