I am the first to admit nothing quiets a noisy kid quite like a handful of cheddar cheese Goldfish, but as I watch my kids grow and they participate in more and more activities, I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon. It seems after every ball game, during some Sunday schools, or even during the most mundane of events, we feed our children…not because they’re hungry, but because it seems our children can’t do anything without food!

It’s not their fault. If a grown–up shoved a juice box and some peanut–butter crackers in my face when I was a kid, I know I would have scarfed them down. Kids don’t say, “No” to food (unless, of course, it’s green), they say, “More!” One of the many problems I’ve noticed with this phenomenon is that our children seem to look forward to the snack more than the actual activity.

When I coached T–ball, by the middle of the first inning, half my infield was asking me what the snack was going to be after the game.

“Hey, Coach Mike, do you think we’ll have Oreos or ’Nilla wafers?”

“I don’t know, Timmy…watch the batter! Don’t worry about the snack…worry about that oversized kindergartener about to knock a line drive past your left ear!”

“Hey Jack, what did your Mom bring for snack?”

“Grapes and apples!”

“Awe man…I hate it when Jack’s mom brings the snack!”

I couldn’t wait to hit when I was five; these kids couldn’t wait to eat. The snacks aren’t just affecting the sports either. When I asked my youngest daughter how her days were at preschool several years ago, the conversation would usually go something like this:

“How was school today, Honey?”

“It was great Daddy!”

“Oh yeah? Did you learn the alphabet?”

“I can’t remember, but we had chocolate chip cookies and fruit punch for snack!”

“That’s great, Honey. Did you play on the playground?”

“Tomorrow we’re going to make s’mores!”

I admit my wife and I have contributed to this fun–then–food culture. There was a time not long ago when my kids wanted to go to the pool, not for the swimming, but for the box of Little Debbie Swiss cake rolls tucked away in the pool bag.

I thought I was going to have to worry about bad influences and peer pressure. I had no idea I was going to have to worry about the free–flow of junk food.

I fed my children a nice healthy breakfast one Sunday a few years back and sent them to Sunday school expecting them to be alert and ready to learn about God. When I asked them what they learned, they said with a big grin, “God is great…and we loooove jelly doughnuts! Our teacher brought a whole box of them! Can we have some for breakfast tomorrow?”

I’m not quite sure what to do about all this food. We could probably solve world hunger if every kid donated his or her post activity snacks to Unicef.

As time has gone by, my wife and I have made a conscious effort to feed our children better, but it’s still hard to keep them away from the snacks. Plus, we’ve found a hard week of school is a lot easier when it ends with a trip to Baskin Robbins for the whole family. Nobody’s perfect! So maybe I’ll just consider the snacks a benefit of childhood.

Hey Mom, I just finished my column. Can I have a jelly doughnut?