According to former South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford, parents only have one chance to raise their children.

And despite her ex–husband, Gov. Mark Sanford’s well–publicized actions in the past year, which included embarrassing revelations and public details about an affair with an Argentinean woman, she feels she has managed to instill in her four sons a moral code that will serve them throughout their lives.

And at least one organization that espouses the idea of “mothering with grace, faith and intention, often through difficult times” agrees that Jenny Sanford has set an example, and that is why she is one of five women who have been chosen as an Intentional Mom of the Year. Catherine Hickem, the founder of Intentional Moms, a non–profit organization that provides information and support to mothers nationwide, said Sanford exemplifies all that she embraces in an intentional mom.

Catherine Hickem, founder of Intentional Moms “One of the things that I have admired about Jenny is that she has been intentional in so many ways,” Hickem said. “She let her boys be boys, honored them as people, and never lost sight of allowing them to be children during all of this.”

Sanford said she dedicated herself to the four boys, who range in age from fifth grade to a senior in high school, but said mothering in the public eye was a difficult task, at best.

“Just raising children is tough, and then you include the public element, which adds a certain extra dimension,” Sanford said in a telephone interview with The Columbia Star from her home in Charleston. “There was a cost to this life.”

And, when the details of her then–husband’s affair with Maria Belen Chapur became international gossip for months, it made her job just that much harder.

“One of the most important things we must instill in our children is character and encourage them to live a life of character,” she said. “When Mark returned from Argentina, his actions so co–countered our efforts to do this.”

However, Sanford said, instead of losing heart, she believes her boys learned some valuable lessons.

“They saw the need to consider their deeds and the consequences of their actions in every decision they make.”

Hickem labeled Sanford as a “thinking mom” who should be an example to those who believe they are stuck in an intractable situation.

“She took this moment in her life as an opportunity to learn and grow, and it made her and her children better, not bitter,” Hickem said. “The heart of an intentional mom is not what you have, but what you are during difficult times.”

An intentional mother, like Sanford, uses heart, faith, and hard thinking to make it through crises, Hickem said.

“This award has nothing to do with education or means,” she said. “It’s about not trying to feel your way through a situation.”

Although she feels there are many challenges ahead, Sanford said she is at peace at this time in her life, something that surprises her.

“I feel I have finished that chapter and moved on,” she said. “I never would have pictured a year ago that I could have said ‘I’m here and I’m happy.’ But it’s true.”

For more information about all five nominees and to vote for the winner of intentional mom of the year, visit www.intentionalmoms. org. The cutoff day for voting is May 6. The winner will be announced on Mother’s Day.