Sorry I haven’t written anything impressive in a while, but I have sluggish cognitive tempo disorder. My dad used to chastise me for being lazy, and he nearly destroyed my self esteem before I found help. All it takes is a few sessions on the couch at $300 per, and I’m good as new. At least until I have to fight through another outbreak.

The latest edition of the Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the psychiatrists’ “bible” is now being publicized. It is the perfect remedy for folks in our world who don’t want to take responsibility for their actions and are willing to pay someone to be their friend.

My brother used to have trouble controlling his temper. He even experienced episodes so memorable his friends and co–workers took to naming them. There was the “swimming pool wall incident” and the “cross tie fit.” I’ve begged him to seek help for this affliction, called intermittent explosive disorder, but to no avail. He is like those stubborn old timers who refused to go to the doctor back in the 1800s.

Anyone you know who is constantly whining about how life treats them is probably suffering from negativistic personality disorder and needs to get medical help immediately. Telling them to “shut up and get a life” will only make things worse. A true friend would refer them to a competent health professional.

The most misunderstood area of mental health is related to sexuality. With so many people believing the primitive idea that we are all mammals and act accordingly, it is easy to understand how so many can misunderstand their illness and resist treatment. That and the high cost of being healed.

What Viagra has done for physical sexual problems would pale in comparison if everyone with a problem would get to a psychiatrist and heal their mental sexual problems.

Anyone with even a layman’s understanding of mental health disorders could see Jesse James was suffering from hyper sexuality, which manifests itself in subjects, mostly male, who act out their sexual fantasies without thinking of the hurt it might cause others.

I’m sure now that he’s been through treatment he will be able to resist the advances of tattooed babes and porn stars, perhaps by reliving some effective role–playing exercises.

Women who are no longer interested in sex can be correctly diagnosed as suffering from sexual arousal disorder and be cured instead of being demeaned by the old slang term of “wives.” Even people who get a thrill out of being disgusted by pornography are included. They are victims of absexuality.

The mental health industry is following in the footsteps of the drug companies by identifying health issues that used to be part of human behavior but are now recognized as troubling. As long as there is a cure, they can find a disease to go with it.

Obviously, the best way to determine where your problems lie is to visit your local licensed mental health professional and tell him what your issues are. Chances are no matter what afflicts you there is a name for it and a treatment. Remember to bring your checkbook.