It’s not a criticism; It’s an observation

Last week, The Daily

Show featured an entire segment on South Carolina that began with a retrospective of some of our more memorable moments in the spotlight last year: Joe Wilson calling the president a liar on national TV and our philandering governor. They also mentioned the guy who really liked a neighbor’s horse. Twice.

But the night’s star was Andre Bauer. As everyone knows by now, our Lt. Governor tried to explain the problems associated with school lunch programs by comparing poor kids to stray animals. His initial comments were stupid enough for a place in the idiot’s Hall of Fame, but Andre tried to clarify and made things worse.

If he was trying to say that never–ending relief programs are ineffective, he’s right. But politicians aren’t going to stop something that keeps votes coming in, whether its food stamps and free school lunches, or farm subsidies for corporations and tax breaks for oil companies.

The sheer stupidity of the comments as they were interpreted made Bauer look like a fool but explained why we didn’t impeach Sanford. The incident also kept us in the national comedy spotlight a little bit longer.

As a native Alabamian, I must say I am jealous. We have as many stupid politicians as South Carolina; yet, they never get discussed on late night television. The electronic gambling issue alone should warrant a mention on Stephen Colbert.

Governor Bob Riley is trying to make electronic bingo machines his number one priority for prosecution in the state. Gambling on horses and dogs is okay, and so is manual bingo in churches and schools. I’m not sure what is so bad about the electronic version, but the governor says it with a straight face.

Opponents claim Riley was subsidized by funds provided by Mississippi Indian casino owners who were represented by Dick Cheney’s BFF Jack Abramoff back in 2002. The idea was to get the support of the churches by campaigning against gambling, then declare church bingo okay. This would keep the Baptists happy and also drive all the headed–for–Hell gamblers to Tunica, Miss. for some slot machine action. There has been opposition and a few bumps along the road.

David Barber, Riley’s leader of the state Task Force on Illegal Gambling, was forced to resign when caught winning money in Mississippi recently. He pointed out that everything he did was legal. He didn’t explain why Alabama should be different. His replacement confessed to gambling 20 years ago, but he didn’t inhale.

John Tyson Jr. will take over Barber’s post, assuming no stink is raised about his protecting an employee who was caught with child porn while running Mobile’s Child Advocacy Center.

The comedy crop is ripe in Alabama if someone will just send a camera. There is little difference between what happens in Columbia and in Montgomery. We could use the TV exposure. I bet we can even find at least one guy who is in love with his horse.