I heard the other day that shoulder pads for women are making a comeback. I hope that isn’t true. Maybe I misread the story, maybe it was part of a horrible nightmare, or maybe Sean Hannity made it up to support his contention that global warming is a hoax.

The four worst things in fashion history are shoulder pads for women, guys with baseball caps on backwards (unless they are catchers), leisure suits, and sagging, street cred pants. All of these are horrible, horrible abominations and need to permanently disappear.

Backwards baseball caps have a secure place in American fashion because the guys who wear them did it as kids and haven’t turned them around. Silly as it looks, they feel comfortable like that, sort of like 60–year– old bald guys with pony tails.

Leisure suits died out at least in part because they were a fire hazard. They also looked pretty stupid when the guys wearing them stopped taking drugs. Women in shoulder pads made even the skinniest lady look like Ray Lewis, not necessarily the best of looks. I was sure they were gone for good until I heard the news. But sagging pants are easily the worst of these.

Whoever came up with the idea of wearing pants down below the Tropic of Capricorn to mimic people too stupid to stay out of prison is bad enough, but this particular look is ugly, unsafe, and impossible to wear and do anything which requires two hands. This fashion statement could be the dumbest thing I have ever seen young men do, and I have seen young men do some really stupid things.

Matter of fact, I will go out on a limb and say that the only thing worse than bustin’ a sag is trying to keep people from bustin’ a sag. I got gas recently at a discount station across from Wal Mart, and there was a sign in the doorway warning anyone with pants below the waist not to enter the store.

Who died and left this guy in charge? When did we get so off track that some illiterate manager of a low rent gas station dictates fashion rules? One of our most cherished freedoms is the right to do stupid stuff. Don’t we have enough seriousness going on without people getting so offended they demand the world follow their narrow minded rules at the expense of all others?

Not being offended isn’t a right and doesn’t allow the obliteration of someone else’s rights. A friend told me recently his definition of freedom is where those in the minority abide by the wishes of the majority. That isn’t freedom unless you are part of the majority, and it sets a scary standard for anyone who thinks outside the box even a little bit.

If we are able to dictate others’ freedom by our own narrow world view, then the same can happen to us. Precedents are permanent and have lasting memories. Soon radio talk show hosts will be orchestrating political protests, and we will base our determination of freedom on fear and hatred. We can’t allow that to happen in America. Can we?