They say the only sure things in life are death and taxes, but pretty soon those may be the only things in life…period. It's getting real hard to do anything without some politician proposing to throw a tax on it…including dying.

Since cigarettes are all but tapped out, the new target of Washington's obsession appears to be obesity. Some lawmakers want to impose taxes on all that makes us fat. Stuff like butter and potato chips have suddenly become worse than a pack of Winstons. The new spokesman for Coca Cola may as well be the Marlboro Man who might actually hurt his image if he replaced his smokes with a Mountain Dew.

Some politicians aren't stopping at our bad food and beverage habits. One guy in New York wants video game sales and rentals included with his so- called fat tax.

It's no wonder our legislators see dollar signs swimming around in all that fat. A study by the Urban Institute and the University of Virginia estimated a 10% excise or sales tax on fattening foods could raise $522 billion over the next ten years. A 20% tax could raise $937 billion. That's a whole lot of Twinkies.

But where does it stop? Obesity is not the only health hazard in the world. I mean skinny people get sick too. Athletes are constantly getting injured. Should we have a football tax? How about a tax on sunbathers? If it's dysplastic, then we must tax it.

How about a tax on philanderers? Philandering is certainly a health risk these days, but such a tax hike might take all the fun out of being a politician. Those Oval Office cigars and South American soul mates could be even more costly. I'm pretty sure that's the one tax increase we may never see.

Imagine if Babe Ruth were alive today. He'd be public enemy number one - a rich guy that never sniffed a sit- up. The man could eat ten hot dogs in one sitting and drink all night long. There wasn't a method of getting nicotine into his system that he didn't enjoy. He sucked on cigars, chewed tobacco, dipped snuff, and still, the ladies loved him. He worked outdoors, and I'm fairly certain he never once used the first drop of sunscreen. He was the athlete of his time, one of the best of all time, but I'm sure all that playing didn't do much for his knees. Had he lived today, poor ol' Babe would have been a pariah, and his tax bill may have single- handedly paid for universal healthcare.

Forget the batting practice Babe, have another chili- dog, a two- liter Coke, and a pack of Camels. The country needs you.

Pretty soon the only things we'll be able to do that aren't a health hazard and therefore are tax- free are sleep, stand up straight in the shade, and eat salad (with fat- free dressing of course). It stands to reason that someone will have to subsidize the tax revenue lost from all that sleeping and standing around.