I don't know about you, but I'm getting sick of the money I could be saving with Geico. The creepy little thing looks like an Olympic mascot gone horribly wrong, and the ad spots are so lame they could have been created by an amateur porn production company. I've also had it with that stupid Australian lizard and the cavemen. It's time for something different. We get the idea.

The only insurance company with acceptable commercials is Allstate, which features the deep voiced guy who plays a secret Para- military commander on a network show. Simple, direct, with no gimmicks and no talking ducks.

Maybe it's a sign of getting old, but it appears to me the folks who make a living trying to grab our attention and keep us from changing the station during commercials have lost their way.

Not one cell phone company is capable of producing an ad that can be watched without hitting the remote or screaming at the big screen. We understand the symbolism associated with 50 million, okay? You don't have to demonstrate with ice cream garnish or piñata candy. Except for Twitter freaks, who really wants to communicate with 50 million strangers?

Stupid White Guys are still prevalent despite my demand they be removed because of their offensive nature. Computer generated babies, young people made to look old, and that smug Mac computer guy are getting more air time than Sarah Palin.

McDonald's is running a spot where some wimpy guy in a mini van gets the best of a biker. Isn't it bad enough we are telling our young men they can get attention from good looking women without having money, power or influence; all they need is Ax body spray?

Flomax shows old guys on the golf course interrupting putts when nature calls. The man involved walks or drives to the closest port- a- john, holding up the game and backing up every foursome on the course because he can't hold his water. I have never seen this on a golf course, or any place where guys drink beer and bond with each other at least not where there is territory to mark.

Speaking of old guy problems, Cialis and Viagra continue to lead the league in television appearances. The message comes with a wink and a nudge because, you know, we can't really talk about such things. Based on the ads, Viagra is used to enhance one's dancing ability and Cialis makes you want to take baths outside.

Another thing that is bothering me: We are talking more and more about things we didn't used to talk about. Pepto Bismol has a catchy jingle complete with dance moves. Women are talking about mysterious ailments that make strong men cringe. Do we need to hear this? Can't your mother explain this type thing? I even saw an advertisement the other day featuring brain flatulence.

If it weren't for the ESPN ads and the Bill Curtis AT&T bits, TV would indeed be a vast wasteland. And I do need to give credit to the person who got Cindy Crawford doing testimonials for an anti- aging cream. That was smart. Maybe there is still some hope.