Early in March the

Today Show featured a hard hitting exposé similar to the ones that built their reputation. A man enhanced his wedding proposal by hiding the engagement ring in a Wendy's Frosty. The intended gulped the dessert down so fast she swallowed the jewelry. The couple had to wait for nature to take its course to reclaim the ring.

The story raised several questions, at least to me. How stupid does one have to be to hide a diamond ring in a frozen dessert? Why not French fries or some chicken nuggets? Didn't this guy start hearing alarm bells when she wolfed down an entire Frosty without taking a breath? To paraphrase an old joke, he should stay away from anyone who can eat that much ice cream.

Why do guys suddenly feel the need to outdo each other when proposing? Have we become so competitive we must ask for our intended better than any other guy? Jumbo- tron proposals, fancy restaurant proposals, sky diving proposals. Where does this all end? Can't we just send her a text message?

The tradition of proposing to a woman has unclear origins. Early on, the bride's father had to pay a guy to marry his daughter. It was called a dowry.

Then things changed. An early relative of Oprah probably got the tradition reversed. Men started paying the family to take the daughter from them. Precious jewels were involved, thus the present day engagement ring was born. Dropping down on one knee goes back to knights and chivalry and such. Or maybe really desperate guys begging for all they were worth.

Anyway, today we have proposals, elaborate, expensive weddings that need a coordinator, bridezillas, and divorces within five years. An oftmarried friend of mine in Chattanooga offered his daughter and her future husband $30,000 to elope. He figured both of them would be better off. She declined the offer. I never heard if they lived happily ever after. Odds are they didn't.

Nowadays, gay couples clamor to get married. People everywhere are wringing their hands and fearing the end of civilization as we know it. My question isn't why people want to deny gay people their rights, it's why in the world they want to get married in the first place. Besides, the popularity of Twitter is the end of civilization as we know it.

Last week the Today

Show aired another amazing proposal story. A man tried to pop the question on the Brooklyn Bridge and the ring fell over the side. He climbed down the bridge support, which alerted the suicide squad, but he retrieved the ring and finished the proposal.

The bride- to- be and her mother were both very impressed. They think this guy is Sir Lancelot. In reality he probably couldn't afford to buy another ring.

She's going to marry him and be ecstatic thinking he will always be so gallant. He thinks he can rest on his laurels from here on out. They will both be disappointed very soon. That's the problem with most marriage proposals. The initial moment is romantic, but it's all downhill after he gets back on his feet, especially if she says yes.