Mike Maddock I did not realize how lazy I have become until my old SUV's keyless remote control stopped working the other day. It had been hanging on by a thread for quite some time. For a while, I could push the remote button really hard or several times to unlock my doors, but it still worked. Well, it doesn't anymore, and it's killing me.

For some cruel reason, the panic button and the one that lowers my rear window work just fine. I guess that's because the only time I use them is when I accidentally punch the darn things as I'm putting my keys in my pocket. Nothing says "dork" quite like a guy in a crowded parking lot that's set off his panic button and can't figure out how to get his automobile to stop honking. I guess that's why they call it a panic button.

My rear window is a little less obvious when its button gets pushed. It always seems to happen on rainy days, and I don't usually realize the window is down until I discover the large puddle sloshing around in the back of my SUV. By then it's obviously too late, and I pledge once again to tape over or somehow incapacitate that button. The panic and rear window buttons are annoying, but they don't bring forth my technologyinduced laziness. They just make me look a little silly.

The demise of my keyless remote control is what has made me so keenly aware of my sloth, and it is what has gotten me so upset. Life used to be simple. One punch and my door was unlocked. Another punch and all my doors were unlocked. I wasn't a guy fumbling with his keys mumbling obscenities like some Yosemite Sam cartoon. Now, I actually have to use the key for something other than the ignition, and I'm experiencing frustration levels usually reserved for my kids and Clemson football. I'm not sure if I'm more frustrated with having to use a key or the fact using a key is so frustrating to me. Am I that lazy?

The other day I actually got mad because I had to use the key to unlock my truck, then I had to reach in the car and hit the door lock to let my kids in the other doors, and I nearly had a conniption when I had to walk all the way around the back to use the key to unlock the hatch. What kind of person gets upset about this? I guess the same kind of person who watches bowling on TV, because he can't find the remote control, or eats cold pizza because the microwave is broken, or quits working because email is down and Google is too slow.

Technology is a wonderful thing…until it stops working. That's when we find out what kind of people we really are. I'd like to say I only eat cold pizza by choice and I didn't know there actually was a pro- bowlers tour, but I can't.