On the first day of 2002, I moved back to Columbia to start a life with the woman whose garbage I would quickly become responsible for. Three months earlier, I invested a few bucks in a relationship strengthening device. Most people call it satellite television. At that time I assumed she was the last person on the Blue Planet, who didn't have either cable or a dish. Evidently, I was wrong.

According to the hoopla surrounding the switch to digital TV, there are millions of people who still have rabbit ears or an antenna bolted to the side of the house. I hope technology has advanced to the point where no one uses aluminum foil on the wire to fine tune the picture like my dad did.

If the various local television stations are telling the truth rather than engaging in hype, the switch to a digital signal will cause panic and gridlock for a large portion of the viewing audience.

All the area TV stations, to confirm they and only they provide local viewer focused television, are broadcasting public service announcements and hosting open house events to help the countless TV watching citizens who don't already have a digital signal. We can assume the chaos will rival that of Y2K. Maybe that isn't a good example.

It will definitely rival the hype of Y2K; already has. Even the president got involved and suggested the date be moved a little into the future. It makes this whole deal seem like a real problem.

My question: Do you have friends who still use an external antenna? I don't. Everyone I know either has cable or a satellite dish. I don't know anyone who knows anyone who still uses rabbit ears to get their weekly quota of mayhem, childish humor, and Viagra commercials.

Yet Neilson, the folks who tell us Two and a Half Men is a good TV program, says over six million people still have antenna reception. Unbelievable as that is, it doesn't explain why the federal government had to get involved. Did I miss something in the Bill of Rights that guarantees pursuit of American Idol?

Besides, involving the government in anything is an automatic screw- up.

A sensible plan would involve notifying people that external antenna users will need a converter box after the switch to digital signal. A government subsidy could make the converters free or really cheap. Sounds simple. Too simple for Washington bureaucracy.

As of the end of January, the Commerce Department had reached the limit of funding, $1.34 billion. How can this project cost that much? Does Blackwater have exclusive rights to the converter boxes?

Now Congress is getting involved. After the president suggested a delay, Democrats pushed the date out until June. Republicans wanted the switch to happen as planned. Since when did the type television signal being broadcast become a divisive political issue?

With all the things in America that are in need of immediate attention, it really is hard to understand why our respective governments feel the need to get involved in sports policy, movie and book content, youth fashion, and television reception. Are there no more adults left in this country?