Some think of President Obama as the Messiah, but I'm pretty sure his new job is going to be a lot tougher than that. Jesus could command the wind and the water. He could feed thousands with a few loaves of bread and a couple of fish. Jesus could walk on water and turn it into wine, but I'm afraid some people are expecting much more than that from our new president.

They want him to command the United States House and Senate. They don't just want some toast and a little sushi; they want a Ford Taurus and a new Jenn- Air. Some of the American people not only want to be healed, but they want someone else to pay for it.

A few of those demands were on display at President Obama's recent town hall meeting in Fort Myers, Fla. One unemployed questioner asked President Obama if the government was going to make up the difference between his current unemployment benefits and the salary he used to get at his old job. A sweet little old homeless lady asked Obama for her own kitchen and bathroom. Finally, a guy wondered if the president could get him a better job than the one he currently holds at McDonalds. The scary part wasn't the questions, but the round of applause that accompanied them.

I doubt anyone will ever accuse President Obama of being a right- wing, conservative, but I bet even he's thinking, Oh my God! What have I gotten myself into? Hope and change weren't supposed to come with a Sears credit card. This town hall meeting sounded more like my kids' visit with Santa Claus last December than a discussion of presidential policies. The only difference was Rahm Emanuel wasn't dressed as an elf taking pictures and handing out candy canes.

"Now tell me Little Timmy, what do you want from Obama Claus."

"I want a three- bedroom house with a FROG, free healthcare, and a new 36" flat screen TV."

The sweet little old lady may have a better chance of hearing back from Ty Pennington than President Obama, but our president has reached into his little basket of loaves and fishes and pulled out a $780- billion (as of the writing of this column) stimulus package. It may not give everyone a kitchen and a bathroom, but it did give $87 million for a polar icebreaking ship; $150 million for livestock, honey- bee, and farm raised fish insurance; $380 million for a nutrition program, $350 million for new computers at the Agricultural Department; $850 million to Amtrak; $650 million for activities relating to the switch from analog to digital TV; and $79 billion to something called the State Fiscal Stabilization Fund.

Unfortunately, the miracle won't be that Obama gets this thing passed, but stopping it may take some divine intervention. That's why I'm following the new American Dream with my hands out, and I'm taking my family with me.

President Obama, my wife could use some more help with the laundry. My kids would like compensation to attend elementary school, and I could use a column idea once a week. And, oh yeah, how about $10 billion or so for various projects around my house? I think that's a small price to pay for the good of the country, and it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.