The humans in our pack have long since ceased the making of New Year's resolutions, having found the practice an exercise in futility. For years we made noble resolutions with every idea of keeping them. However despite our best intentions, we rarely, if ever, managed to see them through.

The Canine Americans at my house remain more optimistic and have continued the tradition of resolving to change their ways in the coming new year. Today I wish to share with you the Canine Americans' resolutions for 2009.

The Poo recently suffered a brutal case of pancreatitis. Much to his chagrin he spent four miserable days in the Blythewood Animal Hospital on an IV due to an encounter with a tasty smoked pork chop, which disagreed with his aging digestive system.

Though he still participates in "the circling of the land sharks" and is not above bouts of shameless begging as the human members of the pack cook and dine, he has sworn off smoked pork chops and tasty jalapeno cheesy paper from the Mexican take- out food we love.

I am not sure whether he actually resolved to avoid the mortal sin of gluttony or if he has just resolved to avoid veterinary visits requiring overnight stays. Given his strong preference for human foods, I suspect it is the latter. Either way, this is a resolution his humans are likely to be sure he keeps.

His second resolution, however, is ill- fated for success as it involves spurring his sedentary humans into daily physical activity before or after a lengthy work/school day and associated extra circular activities.

Having had his intake of high calorie human food restricted during his illness, the Poo has become svelte and energetic. He frequently engages in raucous games of "attack the beaver" and "hand under the blanket" as well as making spirited jaunts around the sizable chunk of "the great outdoors" encompassed by our yard.

Having considerably more energy these days and noting the increasing girth of the adult members of his human family, the Poo has resolved to walk his humans daily. Despite having found his harness and a very nice leash, the last time I cleaned my room, I am thinking cooperation from the parental units will be limited, and this resolution will go unmet.

The Chi, being a Chihuahua after all, has a different view all together. She has made resolutions more in keeping with doggy nature. She has resolved to wallow shamelessly in all things stinky within her domain and to religiously avoid the dreaded B-A-T-H.

While this first resolution is easily kept, the second presents a considerable challenge for her. The Chi is constantly seeking shelter from storms and fireworks under my dad's chin. She loves nothing better than to snuggle at my mom's neck and climb up my chest to my chin for a vigorous back scratching and jowl rubbing. Her stench is easily noticed and heartily unappreciated, which often results in a serious dunking and scrubbing. It is my suspicion that as long as she persists in keeping resolution number one, resolution number two is doomed to fail.

 

In her heart, I think she knows this, so she has made a third resolution which is to practice the fearsome "double barrel stink eye" daily in her dark domain under the sofa as a form of silent protest as those with opposable thumbs bend her to their will.

All in all, I'd say this is not a bad set of resolutions, and I predict at least 60% success in keeping them. Here's hoping you will have at least as much success in keeping the resolutions you make this year.