I was in Kmart a few days before Thanksgiving and heard Christmas music. That's a little early. I visited CVS later that same day, and they already had decorations up.

Every November we see a desperate attempt by retailers to make some money for the year. The holiday season is when most of us go crazy and buy stuff we don't need for people we hardly know, and the marketers know how to benefit from this.

With our current gloom and doom financial situation looming and people gun shy about spending money, the retailers are a little concerned for their bottom line. They are doing much to fight the trends and bring a little joy to their own family's Christmas by convincing the rest of us to buy something.

Their tactics are simple; start earlier, advertise more, cut prices a little deeper, and convince Americans we need some of the weirdest products ever imagined.

Billy Mays is selling a writing utensil that seals dents in cars. It looks like a Sharpie but with miracle stuff in it that fills the crack or ding, hardens to factory spec, and matches the color of any vehicle. Simple, easy, anyone can do it. And for $19.95, you get two.

Help has unveiled a revolutionary idea in caring for the elderly. A service stops by from time to time to check on older folks who may walk off, fall over, and set things on fire trying to cook.

The business model is much like a pet sitting service, but no one mentioned feeding. For the daily cost of a bottle of water, children can have the peace of mind knowing dear mother is being taken care of, as long as the timing of the visits are perfect. This is the ideal gift for the busy child who's too bothered to check on Mom.

One of my personal favorites is a new miracle device to help a DIYer spread caulk without the terrible mess associated with the job. I'm not sure how you feel, but I'm convinced anyone who can't spread caulk shouldn't be allowed to operate a television remote.

My dad was the worst handy man in history and he could squeeze out a wad of silicone and spread it with his finger. He had residue on his fingers for a few days, but at least the bathtub didn't leak.

The person in the commercial couldn't eat a hot dog without putting out someone's eye. Yet magically when he uses this small square bit of plastic, he becomes one of those Australian guys on HGTV. For the aforementioned $19.95, one gets about seven cents worth of plastic and a container of caulk. Merry Christmas.

Someone is also selling those Ray Charles wraparounds the eye doctor gives you for free as the latest fashion trend. The ad shows a couple of beautiful people stylin' in those bulky frames clipped over their regular glasses. Looking good.

So shop smart this year; the retailers are playing hardball.