In his September 19 column, Mike Cox has chipped in with his home- grown version of the establishment snobbery and intellectual condescension of the so- called "mainstream media." With all the finesse of a lumberjack in a cow- town whorehouse, Mr. Cox describes his least favorite Republicans with such refined phrases as "hot babe," "old rich guy," "Dick Cheney with ovaries," and "slimy Karl Rove." Does this liberal have class or what?

Clever fellow that he is though, ole Mikey is well aware that a good offense is the best defense. He mentions background checks, but not of the Obamadonna- Incarnate or fellow party hack "Neil Kinnock" Biden. Plagiarism and verbal gaffs aside, what's Biden's claim to fame? Barack Hussein Obama's background isn't so bad, really, other than a few communists and radicals, 60's-era bombers and terrorists, and a convicted felon he seems to have met along the way. Eagle- eye Cox seems to have overlooked these minor defects.

When the noble Democrat muckrakers return from Alaska, they'll inform us, in the spirit of fairness for which the media is so well- known, of Obama's many brilliant law school essays, the landmark legislation he sponsored in the Illinois legislature, and his many accomplishments during his several days in the US Senate. However, if Obama's qualifications are revealed to be roughly equivalent to those of Hannah Montana, well heck, the muckrakers can always go back to savaging conservative men and women.

Charles R. Funk III, loyal subscriber