My first experience saving the planet was in 1960. As an active member of the Bibb County, Alabama 4H club (Head, Hands, Heart, Health), I was required to complete a project. I chose to plant one thousand pine seedlings, almost 50 years before Al Gore discovered carbon neutral forgiveness. I don't know how the math works, but I can probably buy a Hummer and still get into Heaven.

I'm not sure why I chose the trees; I think it was the easiest of the projects available. I know I wasn't influenced by a celebrity. There weren't any in West Central Alabama.

The closest we had was Goathide Pratt, the resident crazy guy in River Bend. If Goathide were alive today he would have an acronym; ADHD, GAD, or MPD. Everybody in River Bend thought he was a CSOB.

Back then, crazy people were either harmless or a danger to themselves and others. If the latter was the case, they were locked away at the state hospital in Tuscaloosa, unable to make movies and determine rational national public policy.

Goathide was harmless, so he was free to roam the fields of River Bend and explore his unique world. I never actually met him but he was the one person I heard stories about — a local celebrity. And if the truth be known, much saner than some of the celebrities we take orders from these days.

I don't understand why notoriety gives someone enough credence to lecture others about the way they live, but that's the case. Anyone who warrants

mention on Entertainment

Tonight is important enough to have an opinion voiced about politics, the economy, and the environment, especially the environment. Based on recent examples, we'd be better served to be advised by Goathide Pratt.

Woody Harrelson wears only vegan clothes. I'm not sure what that means, but he is so devout he had some flown to him in Cannes recently by private jet. The fuel bill had to be enormous. That's a lot of pine seedlings.

Sheryl Crow has encouraged everyone to use a single sheet of toilet tissue to preserve the planet. The less said about this one the better, but I'm sure I'm not the only person who doesn't want to live in a world where everyone uses only one sheet of TP per bathroom visit.

Jennifer Anniston encourages three minute showers to save water. She says she even brushes her teeth while showering. It is obvious to most that the showerhead uses way more water than a sink faucet, so brushing while showering is wasting water. And since effective brushing requires two minutes, America's hairdo is only washing the rest of herself for one minute. No wonder she can't keep a man.

Saving the planet only requires common sense. We don't need Woody or Sheryl lecturing us. Preserve resources and stop treating the planet like a never ending candy store or garbage dump. And it wouldn't hurt if there were fewer people being born. Maybe the Pope can add one more deadly sin.

Going green shouldn't take this much effort and hand wringing. If Goathide was still alive, he'd think we're all crazy.