So who you gonna vote against? The ultra- liberal, inexperienced, non- patriotic, closet Muslim with the Angela Davis look alike wife who hates America, or the senile, out of touch, non- computer literate, hanging on to Dubya's policies, flip flopper, whose trophy wife has to be kept hidden? I know. Me neither.

The news media says this is a historic year. Yet most people just want a third choice. The rest of us just want it to end. What a ridiculous situation. Maybe the long campaign has something to do with it. Hillary and Obama exposed each other's faults months ago, and it seems like December to most voters.

McCain was a long shot who didn't seem capable of winning. Then all the Republican frontrunners fizzled, and Maverick was sitting at the top of the heap like some harbinger of how bad things can get. Yet it could be worse; America could be looking at four more years of Dimwit and Darth Vader.

Our election process is broken. Has been for a long time. Partisan politics and negative campaigning have been around since Hamilton and Burr were busting caps at each other. But when you add 24- hour news stations in need of something to keep people watching and slanted reporting posing as fair and balanced, you end up with the mess we now have. Sound bites and instant analysis give us fast paced television debate shows but no substance.

The government is controlled by lawyers, stockbrokers, insurance companies, and Big Oil. Nothing will pass through this maize that is good for the country unless it also makes money for someone who contributes to a campaign. And nothing looks like it is going to chanAgme aernicyatinm Ied osol on. winners get more interest, inquiries, and voter participation than political candidates. We have accepted what is told us for so long we no longer question anything. The real power brokers give us two choices, and then they hedge their bets so they win either way. Meanwhile we let Keith Olberman and Bill O'Reilly decide what we believe.

Both candidates are willing to support offshore drilling, even though everyone admits it won't do anything for anyone except Exxon ten years from now. Meanwhile T. Boone Pickens has to pay for commercials just to bring alternate fuel sources into the discussion.

The hottest media story is whether John Edwards is a

baby daddy. And National

Enquire r scooped everyone on that one. Obama's lack of experience is being touted by Republicans as an issue. Yet, no one talks about how well the last four years have gone under an experienced president.

John McCain touts his own experience in one commercial and then talks about how Washington's broken. If the government is broken, and most of us agree it is, then McCain's experience helped it stay that way. He also calls Obama out of touch, but he's the one who can't Google dinosaur.

Obama seems like the new hot chick no one knows about. Might be great but you just can't be sure. Meanwhile McCain is like re- marrying your ex. You don't expect much, but at least there won't be any surprises.