To Africans, marriage is not just finding the right life partner, it is also a status symbol. It bestows a prestigious social status on a male and elevates him to a club of seniors or elders who deserve to be listened to and respected.

For instance, when a sixteen- year- old boy gets married, he gets more recognition in his community than a graduate working bachelor. It is inconsequential if the young man is poor, unemployed, and lives in a one- room shack. His marriage credentials elevate him above the working bachelor with a car and a permanent house. In the community, he is actually referred to as a "man," and his counterpart, the bachelor, may even be called a boy despite being twenty- something.

For African men, once married, always marrying. Hardly before celebrating his second marriage anniversary, this young man begins to feel he needs a higher status in the community. Therefore, to boost his position for this, he begins to itch for a second wife.

When he takes on a second one, he is given a rank. He becomes a "corporal" as in police or the army. Meaning he has fought a social battle and won. Should he take on a third one, he becomes a sergeant or captain as he continues to rise in ranks.

With these ranks, he can boast of strong management acumen because he can fully control three wives. In social gatherings, say drinking joints, he commands a large audience. If there arose any controversial arguments, he speaks above the others by stating "you who has only one wife and me who has three, who has more experience and knows more?"

In the olden days there was no courtship or romance before marriage. There were three common ways to find a wife.

The first way involved the young man himself. He would spot a sweetheart in some village. It did not matter whether he got the opportunity to talk to her or not. The important thing was for him to make up his mind she was the right candidate. He would then report to his "marriage committee"- his peers who would waylay the girl on her way from the well or market. They would abduct her to the boy's house. Once she reached the boy's house the game is up. If she escaped, she was labeled "second" and would be shunned and looked down upon. So however painful, the safest way was to stay.

Second, if the boy was shy with girls, his peers would bail him out. They would identify a prospective spouse and start an ambush. When she fell in the trap, they would carry her to the boy's house, and the rest became history.

The third way, probably the friendliest one, involved the boy's sisters and aunties. They would spot a prospective candidate and initiate some dialogue until they connected the boy's and girl's parents, or the boy to the girl before the marriage is consummated.

But the marriage came at a big price. Usually, the man had to pay some dowry in the form of cows. In some communities the bride's father and clan would demand up to 50 cows at one go especially if the girl went to school.

But the bad economic situation now has forced the number of cows down drastically. And money which used not to be accepted in lieu is admissible for bide price. It is this transaction which makes marriage in Africa look different. Once he has paid his 50 cows, the girl becomes his property, number one on the list. She has no rights and loses her independence. Should she misbehave, she is beat to a pulp.

In Uganda, women are trying to fight against this injustice through legislature. There is a domestic relations bill yet to be ratified by parliament to address this anomaly in human relationship. But the resistance from men and traditionalists is too strong against the bill.

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