Anyone who reads the words in this space each week realizes I'm no genius. It doesn't take long to fill a room with people smarter than I. But I am inquisitive. If I don't understand something, I try to get answers. Accepting the status quo or agreeing with someone because he seems smart isn't my style. I want proof.

In my constant search for understanding, I sometimes run across things without answers; mysteries of the world I can't solve. If anyone can explain the following, I'll be eternally grateful. I'll also bother you about other stuff.

I don't understand why scientists and Congresspersons waste time and money investigating things we already know. A recent study determined that white middle class parents raise kids who turn into white middle class adults. They have also determined that the bottoms of shoes are full of germs. Wasn't this already pretty obvious?

After some behavioral experiments a team determined that men do stupid things when looking at pictures of girls in bikinis. We know that. Tell us the chemical makeup of cleavage. Let's make it an alternate fuel source.

Why doesn't someone launch a study into why every male on HGTV is either gay or Australian? It isn't earth shattering, but I sure would like to know.

Why does every small southern community claim a historically significant downtown? Surely there are some towns that are there because, as James McMurtry sings, a wagon lost a wheel or the initial settlers lacked ambition.

Speaking of small towns, the McDonalds in Winnsboro prohibits people from entering the restaurant sockless. How can they enforce that? And what caused the rule to be posted on the front door in the first place?

Orangeburg has a Frisbee golf course. I have never seen anyone playing Frisbee golf. Who decided to spend money on a Frisbee golf course in Orangeburg? And why?

Why do all commercials about men using a grill require the cook to wear an apron? No one wears an apron anymore anywhere. Real men who cook meat on fires would rather broil tofu on the grill, and eat it, than wear an apron.

Exactly how many cars are allowed to turn left at an intersection after the light changes to red? It seems to differ based on region, time of day, and driver nationality. We need a national standard

Why does every item for sale late at night cost $19.95? You'd think the wide disparity of type and quality would demand different prices. And does Billy Mays talk that loud in real life?

How come every organization with freedom in its name is mostly interested in taking someone else's away? And why do all campaigning politicians look stupid in baseball caps and flannel shirts? Come to think of it, they look out of place doing anything normal humans do. Maybe they are from another galaxy.

Finally, isn't it about time the oil companies dropped that point nine from the price of gas? Public opinion of those guys is as low as it can get, and we are tired of being deceived by a tenth of a penny. Let's have some truth in advertising.