It is true that girls start planning their weddings the moment they poke their pretty little heads into this world. I speak from experience because I'm almost sure my oldest daughter's first words were, "Ice sculptures!" She's ten- years- old now, and the only thing she lacks in her planning is a groom, but that's not really important. He's kind of an insert- name- here accessory to the grand affair brewing in her mind.

The other day she had an in- depth discussion with her mom about her future wedding dress. My oldest daughter wants to single- handedly bring back poofy sleeves and drag a train the length of an entire church sanctuary. She wants a six- tiered vanilla cake, and I think I heard something about white doves.

My youngest daughter is not much better, but her ideal wedding dips a little less into my retirement. She wants a comfortable dress that's not too fancy. Apparently, she is less concerned with looking like a princess than she is with dancing and having a little fun. Her focus seems to be more on the reception than the wedding itself.

Either way, it doesn't sound like I'm getting out of this cheap, but I don't mind that. My daughters deserve the weddings of their dreams. Plus, I'll get to relax when my son gets married, and I get to watch the other father squirm at the mention of rose petals and other such things. My confusion comes from a general lack of understanding of the female species.

When I was my daughters' age, I wasn't planning much of anything with the possible exception of how to fly off my balcony wearing a Planet of the Apes T- shirt, tuff- skins, and my blanket as a cape. I may have been wondering how to hit a curve ball or what disgusting combination of drinks I was going to get from the concession stand after my game. Sometimes I thought it may just be possible to ramp my Schwinn over the ditch at the end my street, but I certainly was not thinking about getting married.

As a consequence of this nuptial planning chromosome, my daughters absolutely love weddings. As I've taken them to several, I've discovered another difference between men and women or boys and girls. Many times weddings to women/girls are more like reconnaissance missions than social events. While men/boys go for the free shrimp and drinks, women/girls go to take notes and gather information: those magnolia flowers are nice, that strapless dress is gorgeous, can't make the guests wait for the bride and groom before serving food, don't give out throw- away cameras if Billy is invited, and so on and so on…

Despite their note- taking, my daughters always have fun at weddings and they never want to leave. They insist on dancing and getting a piece of wedding cake. They also treat the bride like the queen of England. I don't know if they even notice the groom, but the bride stops them in their tracks and nearly brings them to their knees. They blush and shrink in her presence, but that's the way it's supposed to be. Someday some little girl will be blushing in front of them because I'm pretty sure they've already planned on it.