2007-10-19 / News

Canine- Americans and fall foolishness

By John Dixon Cub@TheColumbiaStar.com

The Chi The Chi Despite their advancing age, with the passing of the Autumnal Equinox, the Canine Americans at my house have become a trifle frisky and more than a little bit foolish. They are emerging from their lairs with more frequency and considerably more energy than during the summer months. The things they do, while quite amusing, can sometimes defy logic.


I guess the Poo hasn't been on enough rides recently to suit him or perhaps he's been reading my

copy of The Hitchhiker's

Guide to the Galaxy which I found deep within the recesses of his lair. Since the weather has cooled off, he's no longer content to remain within the confines of his almost two- acre domain.

Lately whenever I let him out he heads straight down the driveway to the road. Last week, my brother let him out, and my dad met him in the middle of the road staring down an old lady in a Ford Sedan.

Perhaps he was trying his hand at hitchhiking, which is rather difficult to do without thumbs. Therefore, he chose instead to try to communicate with passing drivers using canine telepathy. No matter how hard he stared at the little old lady she just didn't seem to get the point. I suppose only his humans are gifted in the art of interspecies non- verbal communica- tion. In any case, the Poo is now under supervised probation for his own welfare and he is not liking it much.

The Poo The Poo The Running of the Tree Rats

The Poo is not the only one who has taken leave of his senses lately. The Chi has decided she's a predator. She's begun to indulge in some sport in her rare trips to the great outdoors. Unlike the Poo, the Chi is content to remain within the confines of our property which she defends valiantly from the encroaching squirrels.

Considering the interlopers to be nothing more than "tree rats," the Chi will launch herself toward an unsuspecting rodent like a furry torpedo. Well, actually it's not all that fast but it's as fast as she can waddle.

Fortunately the squirrels are much more svelte and agile so they leave the Chi panting in their wake. I think she is secretly pleased her quarry always escapes because I doubt she would have any idea what to do with the squirrel if she ever managed to catch one. I daresay it may be more of a fight than she bargained for. Pine Cone Fetch

Given that the Poo's wings have been clipped, and he spends the majority of his yard time supervised these days he has plenty of time to indulge in more appropriate outdoor activities.

Unlike the Chi predation is not in his nature. He likes to play. Our home is located in the midst of a pine thicket so we have plenty of pine cones for the picking. The Poo has the creativity to make anything into a toy. In the yard, he chooses pinecones that have been stripped by the local "tree rats." He grabs the pine cone, tosses it with a flick of his head, and then pursues it with great gusto. Sometimes, he not only tosses it but plays keep away with the supervising human. He can entertain himself this way for ten minutes or so before collapsing into an exhausted heap.

Getting Gamey

The first order of business here is to define gamey. Gamey is that distinctive exercise induced smell emanating from Canine Americans after an extended period of activity in the yard. Once you've smelled it you'll never mistake it for anything else. It's not a terrible stench, but it has something wild about it. All of the activities described above result in highly gamey Canine Americans who insist on spreading their love.

The Chi often goes one step farther and wallows in a medley of the stinkiest things she can find in the yard. I don't know if she's trying to cover the gamey smell or if she's trying to mask her dogly scent from her prey. Either way, she reeks and then I get subjected to intense stink eye when I chase her down to wash away the remnants of her hard work.

That's all for today's installment of the Canine Point of View. Never fear there's more to come. Keep reading in the coming weeks for more comic canine exploits.

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