The music starts, the people stand, the doors open, and the mouths hit the floor. The bride is totally unrecognizable because she decided to look like someone else on the biggest day of her life.

Girl has scoured through pages of wedding magazines for ideas on how to wear her hair and do her makeup. However, Girl must remember how these women look every other day of their lives before diving head first into a complete makeover.

Girl doesn't want to look so pale that the only thing people see walking down the aisle is a white dress with hair. But Girl doesn't want to look like a gigantic orange or freakishly red. Girl's skin can have a nice glow, but Girl doesn't need to bake herself like a turkey.

When it comes to hair Girl wants something beautiful and formal. However, this isn't the prom or a beauty pageant. Girl shouldn't use so much hairspray her hair won't move until after she's back from the honeymoon. If Girl has naturally curly hair then she shouldn't wear her hair pin straight or vice versa.

Okay, now for the face. This isn't Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. Rosy checks, painted on eye shadow, and red lipstick so bright it can be seen from space is a definite no- no. Girl doesn't want to look so bad people won't be able to eat at the reception; that food is way too expensive to just sit there.

Another major problem many brides get caught up in is a trend, which makes all of their wedding pictures look dated. The bride with big, puffy sleeves or the high as the sky hair obviously got married in the '80s. Girl needs to remember what year it is when she ties the knot, but think ahead at the same time. Will it look good 10 years from now?

One more key element for Girl to look like herself is to keep her freshly manicured nails similar to her regular nails. There's nothing wrong with a bride getting her nails done, but if her nails are usually short she shouldn't get long fake ones put on. Girl needs to be able to pick up the champagne flute when she and Boy have their first toast. Long, ridiculous nails with an obscene color won't make Girl look any better.

The best thing for Girl to do is look like the best version of herself on the biggest day of her life because Girl wants to stomach the wedding pictures decades after the big day is over.