I know better, I really do. My insides are too old to eat a spicy dinner, dessert, a couple of drinks, then graze from the fridge just before bedtime. The midnight scramble for Tums signaled a long and uncomfortable night.

I had a nightmare around three. I was myself, living among familiar people and places, but everything was crazy. A real Bizarro World.

Children were rude and self- absorbed, oblivious to anything but themselves. Parents made things worse by catering to their every whim. No one wanted to be a real parent. Everyone was either afraid of appearing too strict, or thought a buddy was more important than a parent.

Entertainment was really crappy. Movies were made by consultants who used focus groups and familiar formulas. Accumulating a huge profit was more important than telling a quality story.

Performers were determined by press agents. Talent wasn't important, the "buzz" was. No one cared about quality, everything was based on what a few people in the know said was trendy and cool.

But the weirdest thing in the dream was the political system. Politics was like a sports rivalry. People determined which side they supported, then refused to allow the opposing side any relevance in their beliefs. Every person spoke of the opposing group as if they were some sort of subhuman dimwit.

The system worked well for those running the country; they were able to appeal to a group of people based on a single idea or sound bite. No one questioned those in power about their overall beliefs or wanted them to do the right thing for the country.

The controlling party had started a war based on faulty advice and untruths, but the opposing party was too stupid or cowardly to call their hand, so no progress was being made.

The whole thing was a political fight to determine which party would rule the population for the next decade. Soldiers were dying, but no one on either side cared. They just wanted to make sure the opposing side was branded the bad guy when the war eventually ended.

Everything from justice to morality was based on politics. A person of one party could be jailed while someone in the opposing party might be pardoned for a similar offense. Religion had even gotten involved. No one preached a belief system; they used scripture to justify political positions.

An upcoming election was making news. The most popular candidate was a second rate actor who had not yet announced his candidacy. But his beliefs were similar to a past president, also an actor, so all of that party's cheerleaders supported him.

He was waiting as late as possible to start campaigning, so no one would determine if he were qualified for the job. But his opposition was so mediocre, he was likely to win.

I awakened with a start, my pillow damp from my sweat. I swore never to eat like that again and turned the TV on for some real life. Surely Paris Hilton had done something stupid; it's been a week.