Mike Cox

My father-in-law was one of the toughest men I ever met. A hard living, hard drinking man for most of his adult life, he terrified everyone who ever dated any of his daughters. In his later years, he would get emotional over the most trivial things.

I saw my father cry once in the first 70 years of his life. In his last 11 years, surprise parties and touching moments brought tears to his eyes on a regular basis.

Like the men I noticed the most, I find myself getting more emotional as I grow older. I can't remember crying a single time from my last spanking at around 12 until I was into my 40s. Now I get misty- eyed over a Lowe's commercial.

Brian's Song was the first movie that made me cry. The story of good friends playing pro football, then one dying tragically, had all the ingredients a story needs to initiate tears. Even now, I get a lump in my throat when the opening theme song starts.

The Rookie is a more recent example. The theatre where I saw it was filled with grown men. Most of them were sniffing and red-eyed as the closing credits rolled. All of us have emotional hot buttons; mine are fathers and sons, followed by plucky overachievers.

Movies like Miracle , Field of Dreams , and Billy Elliott have scenes that get to me. A recent sports story featuring handicapped children playing flag football sent me scurrying for a tissue.

When I was in my 30s, women were searching for more sensitive men. Many found what they were looking for, then had second thoughts when their dreamboat broke into tears over the checkbook being out of balance.

Women can make a useful weapon of a few tears, but men will always be looked upon as weak when they start bawling at an inappropriate time. Guys know this and are always trying to keep their emotions in check. As we get older, it becomes harder. Thankfully, staying macho becomes a little less important as the years pass.

Still, most men struggle to adjust to being more emotional. As a sensitive man myself, I have some helpful hints.

It's okay to cry when your football team wins a rival game or a championship, but not if they beat Vandy. Crying over a television program is almost never allowed, especially a reality show. Seeing someone special win the Masters or the Final Four can bring acceptable tears. If a male Olympic athlete cries during his anthem, you can too, unless the winner is a figure skater.

Crying at the movies is usually okay; if a son makes his daddy proud, two feuding brothers solve things, or someone of questionable character gives his life to save others, you can squall like a little girl.

But be careful. If you get misty-eyed over a relationship being saved, a female buddy flick, or any dramatic moment in a Meryl Streep movie, you are on very, very thin ice.