2006-03-17 / On Second Thought

These two gals ain't no ladies

The two middle-aged women are fighting in the laundry room of a Charleston motel when an overnight guest calls for the police.

After taking one look at the free-for-all, the two cops call for backup. Their sergeant comes up to the second floor to help out. Sarge wishes he'd stayed in the patrol car, because one of the women sinks her teeth into his left forearm.

By the time the cops finally separate the fighting ladies, Sarge has called for an ambulance. One reason for the paramedics is to treat the bite on sarge's arm, and the other is to give first-aid to Maybelle who has cuts and bruises on both arms. Patience doesn't seem to have any injuries, but she's on a loud cursing spree even after her hands are cuffed behind her back.

Turns out both Patience and Maybelle are maids working at the motel. As the women are ushered into the backs of patrol cars the manager yells, "You're both fired!" Who can blame him?

When the maids later appear before a magistrate, Maybelle's forearms are bandaged and both eyes nearly swollen shut. Patience has a small cut over one eye but seems otherwise unhurt.

The sergeant points at Maybelle and tells the judge, "This one bit me - and drew blood!"

The judge bangs his gavel, "Everybody be quiet and calm down." The judge expresses his curiosity over what started the fight between the maids.

"She's nothing but a no account thief," says Maybelle, referring to Patience. "She's low-down."

"I ain't stole nothing from you, no time, you tramp!" yells Patience.

The judge raps his gavel again and again in an effort to get quiet in the courtroom. Finally, the judge turns to Maybelle and asks, "What is it you think she stole from you?"

Maybelle can hardly contain herself as she answers. "She reached over into my maid's cart and stole two rolls of toilet paper."

"Toilet paper?" asks the judge, incredulously.

"Yessir, toilet paper - she's just too lazy to go down to the supply closet and get her own."

Clearly, these are no ladies.

CallTheCops@sc.rr.com

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