Peter Jackson’s King Kong does not measure up to the Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies in any way other than length.

This film was truly an epic, but at times it dragged to the point of being almost painful. The first hour moved so slowly it was like watching paint dry. Constructing background is necessary, but it should not take an hour for anyone but a moron to get the drift of what is going on. The voyage up until the arrival at Skull Island dragged a bit as well.

From that point on it was almost non–stop action. I like action, so this is a positive, but you must know when to end even good action scenes. I noticed that almost all of the action/battle sequences were totally dragged out but nonetheless good. Still, more is not always better.

The special effects were cool and just a bit creepy. This film definitely earned its PG–13 rating because of violence, gore, language, and general grossness. The insect attack in the gorge and the worm things (maybe they were maggots) swallowing heads and appendages had a really high gross factor, and based on the squeamish noises I heard during those segments, these scenes made several people in the theater quite uncomfortable.

King Kong recieves a mediocre review. The dinosaur stampede was realistic and exciting but dragged on way too long. In addition, Kong’s battle with the three T–Rexes was superb, but also lasted longer than my interest.

Kong himself was very realistic. He looked and moved like a real silverback gorilla, but I have to tell you if he had really shaken Ann as portrayed, her neck would have been broken and her brain would have been jelly. In real life, her skimpy outfit would not have survived the wild runs through the jungle and slides down mountainsides in tact as it seems to have done in the movie.

Oh, and just for the record, no way would Jimmy have been able to shoot those insects off Jack with a Gatling gun without killing him or himself with the bullets as they bounced off the surrounding rocks and cliffs.

The setting locations were perfect to set the mood for the movie. Jackson was wise to leave it set in the early 1930s because that made the whole premise for the story work. I enjoyed the first little bit where they showed shots of the culture and economics of that time to help the modern audience understand why a girl like Ann would make the choices she did. I guess I watch too much History Channel because I really like that sort of thing.

The soundtrack and sound effects were purely awesome. The music set the mood and heightened the drama. There were many moments, such as when Kong’s fists slammed the ground, when I almost jumped out of my seat.

The choice of actors was good for the characters. Jack Black who played Carl Denham, a film producer, was perfect as a human cockroach. (Kafka would have been proud.)

Ann, superbly acted by Naomi Watts, was the ideal damsel in distress. Adrien Brody skillfully and sympathetically portrayed the courageous playwright Jack Driscoll. These two characters shared a believable relationship from the start and my interest in them built up as the plot progressed.

The unnamed and forgotten people on Skull Island were seriously mysterious and creepy. I am sure to see their macabre faces in my nightmares. Parents please note this is not a movie for young children. It has too many gruesome images.

All considered this movie gets one star for each hour, three stars. (That is being generous.) One of the brightest points came during the previews. Over the Hedge seems to have promise. I think I will put that one on my “Reel Talk” list.