Is this what it’s come down to? Has the consumer become so unimaginative and lazy he will accept any sort of stuff placed in front of us without complaining? If that’s the case, I’m calling on the tiny amount of Cherokee DNA in my bloodstream and heading to the Wichita Mountains to let the coyotes and bears make some use of my tortured carcass. If the entertainment world no longer plans on making anything different, I’m done.

A steady stream of lame remakes has flooded the movie screens recently; most of them are encores of movies or TV shows that weren’t very good to begin with. Bewitched , Beverly Hillbillies , The Dukes of Hazard , and Herbie the Lovebu g have all been given the green light.

So far it hasn’t been a concern. I had no intention of seeing any of these dogs, and they couldn’t do damage to the original. But now, the suits in Hollywood have gone too far. They have remade Bad News Bears.

How in the name of Vic Morrow can this be allowed to happen? Do Hollywood executives think different actors and a new plot will work? Can anyone imagine someone other than Walter Matthau as Buttermaker? Can Tatum O’Neal’s renegade tomboy pitcher be improved?

The movie was perfect, yet I’m convinced the folks involved with today’s version will feel compelled to jazz things up a little. Someone will add computer graphics because they can. The plot twists will have to be explained to today’s audiences. No one will understand the nuances of intelligent dialogue. Bits of political correctness will be obvious to anyone familiar with the original.

As sure as I’m typing this, there will be a syrupy ending some focus group liked better than the original. And several of the best scenes can’t be shown to today’s sensitive audience. Someone will be offended. We all should be offended that Karl Childers from Sling Blade is portraying one of the greatest sports characters in movie history.

As the previews for this monstrosity were shown to TV viewers across the country, stories were appearing in news casts telling us how worried the movie moguls are because audiences are disappearing. Imagine that.

You have to take out a loan to pay admission into a movie, sell a kidney to buy drinks and popcorn, suffer through commercials, endless previews, and instructions to carry your trash with you when you leave. Then the movie finally starts, and the woman next to you gets a phone call or decides to tell her companion about her day.

That doesn’t matter because the movie is so lame and predictable, it is nearly unwatchable. All the cool previews you saw 100 times on TV are tired by now and make up the only interesting parts of the show anyway.

Or you can stay home, maybe with surround sound and Hi Def TV, and watch a DVD of something you like, something either funny, touching, or genuine. Something the money changers in Hollywood haven’t applied a formula to. Something like the original Bad News Bears.