Mike Maddock When I was young, it seemed the only time a Southerner made the national news was if he were sporting a white cloth hood or running from a hurricane. Hollywood didn’t do much to enhance the southern image either with the Beverly Hillbillies and Bo and Luke Duke. It’s kind of tough to prove the worth of southern living when everyone thinks our lifestyle includes burning crosses, cement ponds, and screaming down dirt roads all day in a souped–up Dodge.

So to combat my embarrassment as a youth, I made fun of my fellow Southerners with all the zeal of a bagel–eating, “you–guys”–saying, subway–riding Yankee.

It was easy. After all, I spent my early childhood in the state of Alabama where fathers were called “Diddy”. My name was pronounced “Mac”, and God wore a plaid hat 12 times a year in the fall and answered to the prayer, “ROOOOOLLLLLL TIDE!!!”

If all that wasn’t bad enough, at age 10, I moved back to the place of my birth, which happens to be the state that started a little thing known as the Civil War. A self–loathing southerner like me didn’t have to look too far for material. I even refused to eat grits and tried my hardest never to use y’all in a sentence.

All that changed when I went to college.

What I found out was that no matter how hard I fought my southern roots and no matter how many redneck jokes I told, my college peers from above the Mason–Dixon line thought I was just as much a hayseed as an overall– wearing, Ag major named “Bubba”. That’s when I started eating grits. That’s when I let myself say y’all again, and that’s when I knew it was OK to be from the south. Not only did I realize I was allowed to have a culture that can’t pronounce “er”, but I realized I should be proud of it. And I am.

Well, just when I thought it was safe to jump back into our southern heritage, along comes Rep. John Graham Altman. Rep. Altman told a TV reporter she was “not very bright” and questioned why women stay with men who abuse them when he was asked why the SC House of Representatives passed cockfighting legislation and not a bill to toughen penalties for domestic violence.

My initial reaction to Rep. Altman’s comments was, “Finally...an honest politician!” Rep. Altman did his voters a favor. He showed them, in no uncertain terms, where he stands on the issue. I’m usually so confused at the end of most political speak I don’t know where any politicians stand on any issues.

Altman should have kept his personal opinion of the reporter to himself, but after seeing the tape, I can honestly say I know where this politician stands. Now of course much of the world doesn’t see it that way. The national media is once again calling us the most backwards state in the Union, and the House is scrambling to pass a domestic violence bill quickly to avoid any further embarrassment.

Why bother?

The House should take its time and pass the bill for the right reasons...not to avoid embarrassment. The media won’t be back in town to report the vote anyway (unless it’s a no vote). They’ll come back if two rednecks in a pick–up truck stage a Klan rally on the steps of the Statehouse, but they won’t be back for a quick make–up vote. That’s just not the way it works.

We’re southerners, and we’re part of the last culture it is politically correct to pick on. I learned that in college, and I wasted much of my youth trying to fight it. Well, I’m not wasting anymore time on that. I’ll just belly–up to my bowl of grits and say, “Y’all come back!” to the members of the national media because I know they will. They just can’t help themselves.