Can you believe it? I’m still wearing the same birthday suit that I wore 50 years ago. I’ve stretched it, stained it, shrunk it, but it still hangs on! It’s been through the dry cleaners. Sea Science Body Wrap . . . Rosemary Mint Body Wrap . . . Vichy Body Polish. . I tried them all, but the same old skin keeps reappearing.

I wondered what to expect from my flesh–colored suit for the next 50 years. I had this idea that if I could view my skin from a distance, I could get an overall view for future adjustments. So I decided to jump out of my birthday skin, place the entire epidermis on a mannequin and view it from afar.

Finding a mannequin to model my skin turned out to be quite a challenge. I thought I would please my husband and chose mannequin number one, Barbie. Unfortunately, my birthday suit did not have enough coverage for my body. The skin covered the upper torso, even made some of my molds look interesting, but unfortunately, there wasn’t enough coverage for the rest of my feminine frame. Southern exposure of my love handles, stomach, and bony legs wasn’t very attractive. I heard my husband mumble something like, “Please, Lord, give me back the original. I’ll pay for the extra coverage.”

Then I tried Twiggy, mannequin number two. I used to be thin to win in my youth, so I thought this would work. But sometimes, you just can’t go back. My birthday suit just slid right down the you can never be too thin or too rich mannequin, gathering folds around the mannequin’s feet. Not a pretty sight.

Maybe, I thought, my birthday suit would look better if I turned it inside out. While reversing the thick layered skin, I noticed a vintage label deeply woven within the threads of my matriarchal lineage. Through the magnifying glass, I could see tiny folds of my grandmother’s birthday suit. I remembered so vividly how I loved to caress and cuddle to the touch of her supple skin. It was the skin on grandmother’s arms that we clung so tightly when mother called us to bedtime. Grandmother’s flesh was full, robust, and we adored her devotion to us.

Herbal Science Wraps . . . Hot Oil Wraps . . . and Relaxation wraps . . . yes, I still love them all. But for the next 50 years, I hope these treatments will remind me of the tactile gifts of touch that I have yet to give that are deeply threaded within my personalized birthday suit.