Mike Maddock

There is an old joke in the newspaper business that goes something like this: Way back when Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, the headlines in papers the next day read, “Tragedy strikes the candle industry,” “Death blow to the flame of commerce on the wick,” “Candle wax companies sure to melt away.” In other words, positive stories are good for the bottom of a bird cage and tragedy sells newspapers.

I’m not sure about that because The Columbia Star has been selling good news for over 40 years, but I have to admit it’s hard to defend an industry that rewards itself on the misery of others.

Listen to some of the headlines from last year’s winning articles at the SC Press Association’s awards luncheon held Friday, March 4; “Three sailors die in wreck,” “Flames leave nothing but charred stone,” “Domestic violence,” “The pill mills: prescription drug abuse,” and “Child drowns at church camp.”

I’m sure these were all well–written stories, but as each winning headline was announced, I felt like I was listening to a bad country and western song. I didn’t know whether to clap or reach for a bottle of Jack Daniels to drown my sorrows. Talk about a weird feeling...try giving a rousing ovation after hearing “Belton woman died.” It’s surreal to say the least.

These reporters should have been proud of their work, but it’s kind of hard to whoop and holler when you’ve just been handed an award for a piece on child abuse. Most of the winning reporters just grabbed their awards, flashed a somewhat guilty grin, and scurried back to their seats with very little fanfare, which was probably the best thing to do. I couldn’t imagine an acceptance speech.

And now the winner for best business reporting, Bob Smith, for his story, “Mill closes, entire town out of work!” Bob’s acceptance speech would have gone something like,

“I’d like to thank my editor, my publisher, and the 10,000 or so people that lost their jobs and pension plans to make this story possible! Life is good. Thank you! Thank you very much!”

I guess profiting off misery is nothing new, but it just seems this year’s luncheon was exceptionally miserable. I guess that’s what happens when an industry judges itself. Misery loves company, and nowhere is that statement more true than in the newspaper business.

Of course patting each other on the back for spreading death, destruction, and despair is not exclusive to our industry. Hollywood loves depression just as much, if not more. Why else would they give a movie about suicide best picture honors?

I’m not one to complain, but I think if this fascination with tragedy continues, I may just have to go into therapy a little earlier than I planned. Maybe I could write a story about it. I can see my winning headline now, “Newspaper GM’s venture into depression and Zoloft addiction.” Doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?