2004-10-22 / On Second Thought

Clear case of self defense

Escambia County, Florida, has been in the news lately, mostly because of hurricanes coming ashore in the Pensacola area.

Now there’s a different kind of news coming out of the Florida panhandle. Puppy Shoots Slimeball , the headline reads. Yes, a puppy shot a man who was trying to kill him and his brothers and sisters. Say what?

It’s true, although this particular puppy is not a skilled pistol marksman, he did manage to save the day. Here’s how the incident went down, as they say in police reports.

Elmer, a 37–year–old Pensacola man, owns a litter of seven three–month–old Shepherd–mixed breed puppies. He can’t care for them or find homes for them, he later told authorities.

Elmer decides the best way to get rid of the puppies is to shoot each one of them in the head with a .38–caliber revolver.

He shoots and kills three of the critters. Then he picks up two more puppies, one in his left hand and the other in his right hand. It’s important to know that Elmer is left handed.

The puppy he’s holding in his outstretched right arm is targeted for execution next. Meanwhile, the other puppy, the one in Elmer’s gun hand, is wiggling like crazy. Wouldn’t you wiggle if you knew you were next in line at the firing squad?

So much does the puppy wiggle that one of his tiny paws gets hung up in the pistol’s trigger guard and the handgun fires.

You got that right! The pistol fires and a .38–caliber bullet strikes Elmer in the right wrist. Naturally, Elmer, writhing in pain, drops both puppies, and they scamper off to a safer place.

Sheriff’s deputies arrive and find three shallow graves where executed puppies are buried. Four other members of the litter are okay.

Elmer is treated for a bullet wound in his right wrist and then transported to the county jail where he’s charged with felony animal cruelty, according to an Escambia County sheriff’s sergeant.

The surviving critters, four of them, are taken to the county animal shelter where officials are confident they can find proper homes for the young puppies.


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